Be the Mayor!

When I signed on to Foursquare, my goal was just to be the mayor of my office.  I worked there for 13 years, you would think that I'd have the tenure to automatically be mayor.  But, the much younger, has more gusto, recent grad had been on 4sq longer than me and took and hoarded the crown.  I'm no longer working there, but was able to capture the mayorship of our new fridge as a parting gift before I left.

After leaving the job, I knew that I had the opportunity to step up my game.  I could be the mayor of everywhere!  I wasn't just going to be going from work to home.  I'd be out and about.  I could dream big.  I could be the mayor of the gym.

For most people, simply going to the gym every day might accomplish that task.  But, for me, I had an extra obstacle to overcome.  I go to a gym in West Hollywood.  Could I really out-gym the gays?  About every other day I would check Be The Mayor to see how much further I had to go.  Kevin the Mayor had about 41 check ins on me.  There was no way.  How did he get so far ahead?  Does he live in the basement?  Does he work there?  Is he one of those "gym guys" who are always camped out at the boxing ring, grunting and slowly making passes at the skinny broads who pass by?  I didn't care who he was, I just knew I had to figure out a way to take him down.

I could do this.  I would just go to the gym every day.  As anyone who has ever made a fitness plan before knows, this is tough.  I came up with clever ways to make myself get out of bed and onto the treadmill.  I started by making gym dates with my gay boyfriends.  Even though I'm the most unflexible/unlimber person on the planet, I started doing Pilates.  I tortured myself twice a week by being berated by the Pilates instructor who just doesn't understand why my body doesn't naturally bend at the waist.  I deserved this mayorship dammit!

I pictured what it would be like as mayor.  Would balloons fall from the ceiling every time I walked in?  Would the front desk staff know me by name and high five me as they validated my parking?  Would the ever-so-foxy guy I stalk on the treadmill suddenly recognize me not as the girl who gives him googly eyes as he walks by, but as the ever-so-foxy chick he wants to ask out on a date?  I mean c'mon, who doesn't want to make sweet love to the mayor?

Well, here we are...five months later.  And, guess who's the mayor?  MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  This past Tuesday, I checked in and received my honor.  I walked in and told the front desk guy immediately that I was the mayor and he said, "Well, you must get something.  A smoothie at least."  He went to check with the manager.  Wah wah, no smoothie.  I get free water.  And, she didn't even walk over to congratulate me.  Oh well, do you want a towel?  Pffft...everyone gets a towel.  I donned my imaginary crown and head back to the treadmills.  The hottie was there.  I took my spot in the row somewhere behind him.  Could he tell I was glowing from my victory?  Nothing.  Not even a glance over the shoulder.  Hmmm....this wasn't happening the way I thought it would.

I have to imagine that this must have been what it was like for the councilmen of Bell.  Anti-climatic, yuck.  To finally be in a place of power after such a long election cycle and to not even be showered with gifts, cash, tail or celebrity; it's tough.  I feel their pain.  They went out and made it happen for themselves.  And, now they're in jail.  I'm not saying that I'm going to steal a treadmill as reward for being the mayor.  But, I have to find a silver lining somewhere.  Is it that at least I'm getting to the gym regularly?  Are my hips a little smaller?  Do I have a six pack for abs?  Uhhhh...maybe we shouldn't go there.  I guess I can take solace in that I can eat a half a pound of pretzel m&m's and not feel guilty.  Oh, and I'm still the mayor of the fridge!