What the F&^K!?!? Today in Ridiculous

My new year’s resolution was to pick up the ol blog again and give it a whirl.  So, here I am.  In 2013.  Rocking the blog like it’s my job.  Oh wait.

Before I blather on about all of the music that I am obsessed with that is all old news to you now, I thought I’d make a list of the three most ridiculous things I read this morning.

1. Al Roker

I realize that it’s only the second week in 2013, but the news that he crapped his pants at the White House might go down as the most disgusting news of the year.  I can’t even.  WHY, AL? WHY?  Why would you even dare tell anyone that this happened?  Do we need to know this? No.  Is my life better for knowing this? No.  Will I ever be able to look at you without throwing up in my mouth a little?  No.  You have children, forchrissakes.  Have some dignity.

2. Bethenny Frankel.

This one.  She already is on my list of people who bug the complete crap out of me (not in an Al Roker way, obvs), and I can barely stomach her show, but she’s famous.  No matter how hard I try, I can’t avoid her altogether.  Apparently, she raked in $12 million last year and she’s asking for spousal support from her future ex-husband.  I am assuming that this is just a game that her lawyers are playing to try to get her sole custody of her kid, but it’s still ridiculous.  She’s ridiculous.  Her giant jowls?  Also ridiculous.

3. Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor Swift,

Girl, what’s going on?  Why can’t you just make it work?  You’re famous.  You’re pretty.  You’re skinny.  You're talented, rich.  You’ve got a fuckofalotmore going for you than I did at you’re age.  So, what is going on?  Let's get real.  I’m getting the feeling that you do a lot of drive bys.  You find it hard to control yourself from making a lot of hang up calls from a private number just to hear his voice. You obsessively check his Facebook page, while constantly hitting refresh on his Twitter.  Admit it, you're a little pissed that the google alert you set up only comes out once a day.  I’m going to give you a piece of advice from one (former) kookoobananas to another.  Pick up a copy of “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” and have a little come to Jesus about what you may or may not be doing wrong in relationships.  Your “relation-intuition” is a little off.  It's time for a reset of sorts. Take some time off, grab “How to Get Over a Guy in10 Days” and write a really great song that you want to be in the movie for free because this advice helped you so much.

I feel you, girl.

Jeannie